Here is the last layout I created this month using the October Journey kit by Scrapbooking From the Inside Out.
It wasn't an easy path for us to end up together. I had actually been dating someone else for almost seven years. But at one point, he decided that he didn't think he wanted to marry me. Ever. And truthfully, it was a blessing in disguise. At the time though, it was pretty confusing for me. I mean no one wants to hear that the person who supposedly loves you, doesn't want to marry you, right?
So I broke up with him.
At the same time, Mike and I had been friends for several years. And even though we were "just friends" there had always been a connection between us. We had so much in common and just really liked hanging out with our other friends. As time went by, I realized that I had slowly been feeling more than friends for a while. And so we started dating. Briefly.
Because my ex-boyfriend decided it was too hard out in the dating world. And that it would be easier to get back together. He even told me at one point that he wanted to get back together because it was safer than starting over. Once again, who wants to be told something like that by the person who is supposed to love you. And that is when I began to see that maybe he didn't really love me. Not the way I wanted to be loved.
But fool that I am :) I got back together with him. It was just so confusing at the time. And a few friends encouraged me to "do the right thing" and go back. To be honest, it probably *was* for the best. Because it gave me the time I needed to see that we weren't right together. And that Mike was the one who had my heart.
We went through a lot to be together. We were just friends for several years, and I was dating someone else at the same time. But when that relationship ended after six years, we began to see each other. Briefly. Because when Paul decided he wanted to get back together because he was scared of starting over, I was so confused. And a few well-intentioned friends didn't help matters by saying I should give him another chance. So I did.
But it just didn't feel right in my heart. I was so miserable without you. I missed you so much! You had become not just my friend, but my best friend and I knew I couldn't give you up.
After almost fifteen years of marriage and two beautiful kids, I can honestly say I have never, ever regretted my decision. There are ups and downs to be sure as in any relationship. Like car troubles or extended family drama. Life isn't always easy and it's not supposed to be.
But I know what life is like without you. I've been there, and it is not a good thing. And I like that we can handle the hard times together. I love that sometimes I can still just look at you and fall in love a little bit over again. And when I look at this photo taken on our "break", I remember how much I wanted to be with you."
To the right of the photo you can see the lyrics to a Jason Mraz song that made me think of those early days in our relationship:
All I really want to do is love you.
A kind much closer than friends use,
but I still can't say it after all we've been through.
And all I really want from you is to feel me.
As the feeling inside keeps building.
And I will find a way to you if it kills me,
if it kills me.
I really am so glad that I took the chance and didn't play it safe :)
Just two tips I want to share about this layout.
For the numbers in 1995, I used a Colorbox fluid chalk ink pad in Yellow Cadmium to color the foam letter stickers. They were originally white.
And for the canvas resist birds, I used Tattered Angels glimmer glaze in blue and Smooch Spritz in Tea Party to color them.
I will be back on Thursday with a few peeks at my projects for the next issue of Crafting Ireland magazine!